As I paced barefoot on linoleum tiles, I was forced to tolerate two mothers wearing shoes in a no shoe zone. I was at our local gymnastics centre where my son participates. Two mothers with their shoes happily ignore their untamed litter (too young to discipline), annoying me as I outrun anxiety with some classical music. I suppose I’m to blame for not saying anything. Does my silence condone the behaviour with my cowardice? Yes. Maybe if I did say something they would have been...apologetic. Then again, I didn’t want to be a Karen.
I thought to myself, no one that works at the facility was enforcing the rules, so why not I put on shoes? Spite. The quiet consolation of smugness knowing I’m not the asshole here. I respected the rules. That’s the thing about being oblivious, unless someone says something, we’re quick to accuse others believing we’re NEVER hypocrites. I’m not sure how to address this. You never know when YOU'RE oblivious, so who’s to blame? Side-step the blame and accept we all have blind spots. I stayed quiet. In hindsight, staying quiet was my penance for all the times I’ve been oblivious. There are exceptions, like danger. I think we all should have portable car horns. A cue that shatters the bliss of doing no wrong; directing focus to highlight publicly the circumstance that frustrates me and you. What frustrates me is I am guilty of the thing no one else had/has the courage to interrupt. What is it about culture that prioritizes non-confrontation? Is it the awkward despair bystanders suffer baring witness to you making a scene? What if the scene is recorded and uploaded to Twitter? Public opinion makes us regret our initiative to be heard. Kan't be a Karen. Danger aside, coo oblivious chattering with a rye humour only a friend could appreciate. For me, I vented to my wife. My wife was entitled to empathize and appreciate with me knowing she's been on the receiving end of the same thing. We tolerate obliviousness because peace is fuelled by indulgent chit-chat. That way there's no risk of an escalation worthy of fame. As a Minnow King, my family is my kingdom. Friends talk behind eachother's back long enough, they question your value to the group. My value as a writer is dependent on how interesting my logic is. All I'm doing is clearing my conscience. Those who value this tolerate enthusiasm; the type that makes us oblivious to the truth. I have metrics to this site. Every morning, I can see just the total amount only of people that visit the links I send out. I don't know who, but not everyone clicks the link. My transparency proves I'm not oblivious here. If you don't want me to send you my links, all you have to do is ask. Unfortunately, you're only going to know that if you actually read what I'm sending to you. That's my terms. I'm going to keep sending out my links to those I believe are willing to tolerate my enthusiasm for AWARENESS! "Hey lady, I'm disabled. I suffer from anxiety. Please manage your children." >How rude! "Yeah? Well go FUCK yourself!" >*gasp* not in earshot of my children! "Well that's how annoying your kids are lady. Tah-Taw. Oh wait...there's 20 minutes left." >... "Well this is awkward."
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John Ralph TuccittoBlowing-off steam. Archives
August 2023
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