Stand-Up Album
Buzzkill: A Father's Philosophy
Published Friday May 12th, 2023
Full Album (25m 24s)
Explicit language and adult themes
Explicit language and adult themes
Intro – Humour is the Hammer (All ages)
Who here has tried to juice a banana? Who here comes to work on days off? Who here thought the avian flu was called the ovarian flu? That was me before psychosis. Afterwards? It’s like my ignorance had vanished. Now I see myself for what I truly am. That’s why I’m on disability leave. I’ve spent the last 8+ years understanding bipolarism. I’m bipolar. Here’s what I’ve learnt. Humanity is certain in their delusions. Who’s certainty? If everyone is uniquely created, certainties would certainly vary. Fact.
So that means people like me, know thyself so well, I’ve smashed the gap between the fringes of sanity regarding the “God” debate. Sanity in my words, is being ignorant with ignorance. Insanity requires the opposite. Reality is a distraction. A bad one. What’s it a distraction from? Crazy. Crazy gets its reputation from its nonchalance regarding sane judgement and accusations. That PROJECTS opponent's insecurities and secrets because how would they imagine predicting sin, but not struggle with experience? Do I have your interest now?
Genius colours outside of the lines to predict experiences with reality realizing it can be bent by ego’s impatience. 333. Raise your hand if you follow me? If you don’t, that’s ok. I alternate my jokes between adult, and all ages. There’s bound to be at least ONE of my jokes that makes you laugh. It’s important as an Obtuse Chauvinist, to exercise my conscience or else I get suicidal. If humour is the hammer, boredom is the nail. I must clear my conscience, and weed helps me do this.
It’s not enjoyable; not until I shake free of my sanity. Imagine taking your first breath again and again? It reinvigorates our ignorance to always know better. That’s how you attack disease. Be the disease disease flees. That’s what I am. I’m a reality disease. Reality is a disease. Delusions come true by censorship, protest and gunpoint. This is the height of my tolerance for those who glorify delusion with domination. I refuse to indulge. My conscience has priority but I’m not perfect. When I’m not perfect, I’m allowed to enjoy myself. The mechanism for spontaneity.
I use liberalism to humanize God. That’s my sin.
So that means people like me, know thyself so well, I’ve smashed the gap between the fringes of sanity regarding the “God” debate. Sanity in my words, is being ignorant with ignorance. Insanity requires the opposite. Reality is a distraction. A bad one. What’s it a distraction from? Crazy. Crazy gets its reputation from its nonchalance regarding sane judgement and accusations. That PROJECTS opponent's insecurities and secrets because how would they imagine predicting sin, but not struggle with experience? Do I have your interest now?
Genius colours outside of the lines to predict experiences with reality realizing it can be bent by ego’s impatience. 333. Raise your hand if you follow me? If you don’t, that’s ok. I alternate my jokes between adult, and all ages. There’s bound to be at least ONE of my jokes that makes you laugh. It’s important as an Obtuse Chauvinist, to exercise my conscience or else I get suicidal. If humour is the hammer, boredom is the nail. I must clear my conscience, and weed helps me do this.
It’s not enjoyable; not until I shake free of my sanity. Imagine taking your first breath again and again? It reinvigorates our ignorance to always know better. That’s how you attack disease. Be the disease disease flees. That’s what I am. I’m a reality disease. Reality is a disease. Delusions come true by censorship, protest and gunpoint. This is the height of my tolerance for those who glorify delusion with domination. I refuse to indulge. My conscience has priority but I’m not perfect. When I’m not perfect, I’m allowed to enjoy myself. The mechanism for spontaneity.
I use liberalism to humanize God. That’s my sin.
Joke #1 - Humble Courage (Adult)
What if men were born with pussies, and women were born with cocks. What would change? Would men brag about how BIG their pussies are to women? Men would COMPETE by stretching their pussies out just to suggest they fuck a good cock. “Aye-Oh ladies, who’s interested in big pussy tonight? Anyone? Alriiight.” In that case, childbirth would have a welcoming effect on the body. Plus, he’s eating for two. Trips to the buffet would pay for itself.
What’s the point I’m making? My point is that the Vikings would have been cock suckers. Genitals are the gatekeepers to our ultimate relief, fucking and sucking men’s beefy reef. Promise of relief drives ASSUMPTIONS around our attractions to stupid reactions. Going viral? No thanks. Hypothetically, if men are full of testosterone, but the naughty bits are swapped, which ASSUMPTIONS throw dogs a bone? Yes. What’s the assumption? “If you give me my way, you’ll get something in return.” This explains female professionals. It’s my conclusion in this sad universe of thought, men would stretch out their vaginas, for what accolades brought. Women would deserve embarrassment with her raging boner. You fear the joy, for its ploy. Must ploys always be toys?
Surrender your gender to a mender that puts up with your stupid fuckin shit! Also, women would have to deal with post masturbation ejaculate. Would women use an old sock? Hypothetically, this feminine ideal…is to fuck pussy; because it catches the mess better. Let’s get back to normal now. Now you women understand…why men prefer vagina over used socks. Being genuine doesn’t need an audience. It’s the quiet moments alone I fear my imperfections are punctual.
What’s the point I’m making? My point is that the Vikings would have been cock suckers. Genitals are the gatekeepers to our ultimate relief, fucking and sucking men’s beefy reef. Promise of relief drives ASSUMPTIONS around our attractions to stupid reactions. Going viral? No thanks. Hypothetically, if men are full of testosterone, but the naughty bits are swapped, which ASSUMPTIONS throw dogs a bone? Yes. What’s the assumption? “If you give me my way, you’ll get something in return.” This explains female professionals. It’s my conclusion in this sad universe of thought, men would stretch out their vaginas, for what accolades brought. Women would deserve embarrassment with her raging boner. You fear the joy, for its ploy. Must ploys always be toys?
Surrender your gender to a mender that puts up with your stupid fuckin shit! Also, women would have to deal with post masturbation ejaculate. Would women use an old sock? Hypothetically, this feminine ideal…is to fuck pussy; because it catches the mess better. Let’s get back to normal now. Now you women understand…why men prefer vagina over used socks. Being genuine doesn’t need an audience. It’s the quiet moments alone I fear my imperfections are punctual.
Joke #2 - Dwelling on Tacos (Adult)
What’s the easiest thing to make for dinner? Tacos. Of course it is.
Tacos are the easiest thing to make. But for some reason, every time I make tacos, I get SUUUPER anxious. It ruins my whole day. Even the night before I dwell on the prospect. The last time I had to make tacos, I begged my wife to make them. She replied, “you need help.” Flipping those little raw crumbles of crispy beef sends me into a panic. However, every time I’m done making tacos, I say to myself “that wasn’t so bad.”
Next week, I get anxious again. I think it’s performance anxiety. Tacos is not a set it forget it procedure. You gotta be on your toes. Brings me back to high school football. I would dwell on the game ahead the night before. Making tacos is like putting on my game face. But I’m retired from sports. My game face rituals have bled into my dinner prep. People are counting on me to deliver. That’s a lot of pressure. I need a cheerleading squad:
Tacos, tacos, the easiest meal, fueling hunger only hamburger can heal.
You got this John, ground beef is dead, it’s a walk in the park, no competition to dread.
Halftimes are needed, toilets are your endzone, tacos conceded, to your porcelain throne.
Just another day, making dinner for your breadwinner, fuck taco night, BITCH you’re no beginner.
WOOOOOOOO-HOO-HOOOOO!
I don’t need help, I need cheerleaders.
Tacos are the easiest thing to make. But for some reason, every time I make tacos, I get SUUUPER anxious. It ruins my whole day. Even the night before I dwell on the prospect. The last time I had to make tacos, I begged my wife to make them. She replied, “you need help.” Flipping those little raw crumbles of crispy beef sends me into a panic. However, every time I’m done making tacos, I say to myself “that wasn’t so bad.”
Next week, I get anxious again. I think it’s performance anxiety. Tacos is not a set it forget it procedure. You gotta be on your toes. Brings me back to high school football. I would dwell on the game ahead the night before. Making tacos is like putting on my game face. But I’m retired from sports. My game face rituals have bled into my dinner prep. People are counting on me to deliver. That’s a lot of pressure. I need a cheerleading squad:
Tacos, tacos, the easiest meal, fueling hunger only hamburger can heal.
You got this John, ground beef is dead, it’s a walk in the park, no competition to dread.
Halftimes are needed, toilets are your endzone, tacos conceded, to your porcelain throne.
Just another day, making dinner for your breadwinner, fuck taco night, BITCH you’re no beginner.
WOOOOOOOO-HOO-HOOOOO!
I don’t need help, I need cheerleaders.
Joke #3 - Nuts taste better when your child is allergic (10+)
My daughter is allergic to all nuts. We don’t have nuts in the house. My wife and I have given up nuts. It’s a small price to pay but once in a while I get a craving. I usually eat nuts in the car while I drive. Nuts taste better when your child is allergic. Here’s something I haven’t done in decades. When’s the last time you’ve littered? I’m sitting in my car driving through the woods. I have an empty wrapper of nuts and my conscience was getting the best of me. I either crumple up the wrapper and tuck in away, hoping I don’t contaminate the car, or I chuck the wrapper out the window. So, I chucked the wrapper out the window. I think I understand the appeal of it. Littering is an ignorant delight. Instantly, it’s not your problem anymore. Instantly, your world is a landfill.
“Wait, wait, don’t litter John.”
How many trees were chopped down, how much farmland was reclaimed for business, how much wildlife was displaced by our cherished communities? We ARE litter. Littering is how I connect with nature. I think you should try littering if only to recalibrate your convictions. Where do you think your garbage and recycling goes every week? It goes to a place where wildlife once thrived. You litter every week but because I didn’t litter in the “right” spot, I get shit for it. The point I’m making is if littering in the forest protects my daughter I’ll do it, because I love nuts.
“Wait, wait, don’t litter John.”
How many trees were chopped down, how much farmland was reclaimed for business, how much wildlife was displaced by our cherished communities? We ARE litter. Littering is how I connect with nature. I think you should try littering if only to recalibrate your convictions. Where do you think your garbage and recycling goes every week? It goes to a place where wildlife once thrived. You litter every week but because I didn’t litter in the “right” spot, I get shit for it. The point I’m making is if littering in the forest protects my daughter I’ll do it, because I love nuts.
Joke #4 - You can't litter inside of your house (13+)
The house is not a house, it’s a den. You can’t litter inside the house. Just like a lion marks its territory with scat. I too mark my territory with dirty socks on the floor and stickers pealed from apples dotting the perimeter of the sink. I stink. If armpits could fart, I’d use toilet paper instead of deodorant. My wife is the type of person who cannot relax if the den is NOT spotless. Suffice it to say she always growls. I’m not a complete slob, I cook dinner, I do the dishes, my laundry, I watch my four-year-old cub while my wife works. Think of me as an alpha lion. I protect the pride sleeping on my side, while the female hunts on all fronts. You can’t litter in your own house because it warns others to back off. Why is that threatening? I shit a lot. To shit a lot, I eat a lot. I eat lions. I turn lions to shit.
Outsiders are not welcome. Right? If your den is inviting, it will attract predators. If your den is laced with dirty socks, predators would say to themselves:
“If this is how he behaves at the best of times, I don’t want to see his worst.”
That’s the point of a den, it’s a warning to intruders, right?
Outsiders are not welcome. Right? If your den is inviting, it will attract predators. If your den is laced with dirty socks, predators would say to themselves:
“If this is how he behaves at the best of times, I don’t want to see his worst.”
That’s the point of a den, it’s a warning to intruders, right?
Joke #5 - Laughing is so boring (All ages)
I mean I do so much of it. Hallelujah! I laugh, I love, I be. Yeah life’s great isn’t it? God it’s so boring. Oh wait, I haven’t introduced myself. My name is John. Do you have a name? I earned my name last week.
>Lies are incredibly incredible.
My name is John. Have we met?
>Lies are incredibly incredible.
My name is John. Have we met?
Joke #6 - Competing for surprise (Adult)
Most people believe hell is hot, but cold is JUST as bad. Wouldn’t that be a surprise to learn you freeze for eternity, not burn? That’s how I feel about my jokes. I’m competing for surprise. That could describe jokes in a nutshell, because if you see the punchline coming, the surprise is gone.
At first, I thought I was clever, now I’m in on the joke, so the audience’s laughter catches up to me (waiting on them) to clue into the humour (just before they die). But now the joke stops being funny. Laughter gets boring when there’s no more surprise. You know every punchline, so jokes can’t help us escape our situation.
The punchline hits after you die. Do you know who finds that funny? Santa. Because only good boys and girls get a surprise. Surprise! Santa is laughing at you in hell. Surprise San-ta is an ass-hole. Here’s your present. It’s a pair of socks. One pair for your feet and one pair to hang over your fireplace. Every Christmas you get a lump of coal in each sock. Collect enough of them and you can make a fire. Hell in this context is a campfire protecting you from the cold. Surprised?
At first, I thought I was clever, now I’m in on the joke, so the audience’s laughter catches up to me (waiting on them) to clue into the humour (just before they die). But now the joke stops being funny. Laughter gets boring when there’s no more surprise. You know every punchline, so jokes can’t help us escape our situation.
The punchline hits after you die. Do you know who finds that funny? Santa. Because only good boys and girls get a surprise. Surprise! Santa is laughing at you in hell. Surprise San-ta is an ass-hole. Here’s your present. It’s a pair of socks. One pair for your feet and one pair to hang over your fireplace. Every Christmas you get a lump of coal in each sock. Collect enough of them and you can make a fire. Hell in this context is a campfire protecting you from the cold. Surprised?
Joke #7 - Your attention equals energy (All ages)
Remember when commercials were so good, they made you get off your ass and spend all your money? In the internet age, your attention equals energy proportional to desire’s capacity *to be entertained with/by stupid bullshit.
Joke #8 - Lawn care intervention (All ages)
My Dad has been trying to grow the same patch of grass for a decade. We keep telling him to extend the walkway but he refuses. He also chases squirrels. I wrote a mini poem for him. Goes like this.=:
Rake that off, schooling nature, chemicals making you cough regurgitating jargon and nomenclature. That’ll give my lawn a healthy stir, licking lawns clean like green cat fur.
Rake that off, schooling nature, chemicals making you cough regurgitating jargon and nomenclature. That’ll give my lawn a healthy stir, licking lawns clean like green cat fur.
Joke #9 - Who's the Boss? (Adult)
I only like pets that can be flushed down the toilet. As society is “oppressed” by inconvenience, eventually owners realize pets are a terrible way to fill up their spare time. Fish breathe shit water if you don’t clean the tank, dogs need to be catered to like fuckin babies, cats scratch the shit out of your children. Hey! Who’s the boss here? I said, who’s the boss here? For discretion and convenience’s sake I think all pets do is encourage humiliation. Ever dress up a cat in a doll clothes? Ever transport your dog in a baby carriage?
Either install huge toilets or chop them up into pieces. Better yet, introduce your pets to their natural predator. Keep doing this until you end up with a lion. Now, who’s the boss? You would think it’s the lion but it's not. Can a lion dodge a bullet? What I’m trying to say is, adopt a pet that can kill you. So, when you get sick of taking care of it, you can shoot it and claim self-defence.
Either install huge toilets or chop them up into pieces. Better yet, introduce your pets to their natural predator. Keep doing this until you end up with a lion. Now, who’s the boss? You would think it’s the lion but it's not. Can a lion dodge a bullet? What I’m trying to say is, adopt a pet that can kill you. So, when you get sick of taking care of it, you can shoot it and claim self-defence.
Joke #10 - Thank God for Government (Adult)
The better Government tracks us, the better to control 7 billion egos…You want THAT job? Good luck Satanist.
Joke #11 - Save me Jesus (All ages)
When I retire, I’m never going to wash dishes again. I’ll eat out of a dog bowl. You know I run through fire to please, but dishes?! Fine. I will do the dishes before you get home my dear. I will sacrifice my free time. I will do the fucking dishes…RRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrr...God dammit! I mean, I love my wife, I love my wife, I love my wife.
>John I’m home, what’s for dinner?
Save me Jesus.
>John I’m home, what’s for dinner?
Save me Jesus.
Joke #12 - Anti-Woke Bud Light commercial (Adult)
Hollywood keeps releasing woke content. It ALWAYS bombs. There’s only one reason I can think of. It’s a Satanic initiation into the elitist cabal. I’m not on board with transgenderism, even though I’ve personally identified as a menopausal black woman, and a kitty. I get dysphoria exists, but you don’t see me shitting in a box sippin’ sweet tea. How much harder is it going to be to date people when people are increasingly militant about pronouns, politics, preferences, kinks, medical history, education, income, personality, faith etc.? Transgenderism grows every year borrowing from religious tactics (i.e., young, and dumb). If a doctor told an 8-year-old tom girl that she could change into a boy, what sound mind can’t accept reality favours reproduction? It’s an industry (with the might of the highest authority) profiting from depopulation. But we can’t question it otherwise we’ll be cancelled, doxed, harassed, assaulted. Since when do the minority dictate to the majority? That’s like hiring a colourblind person to critique…colour.
“The pride flag is grey, and if anyone says otherwise that’s offensive. We will burn everything to the ground.”
Hollywood would have to shoot all their movies in black and white to get with the woke agenda. Without Hollywood, government, corporations, and activist groups threatening censorship and violence, know it’s because their ideas implode under debate. Just because something is true, doesn’t make it destiny. It makes it Miller time.
“The pride flag is grey, and if anyone says otherwise that’s offensive. We will burn everything to the ground.”
Hollywood would have to shoot all their movies in black and white to get with the woke agenda. Without Hollywood, government, corporations, and activist groups threatening censorship and violence, know it’s because their ideas implode under debate. Just because something is true, doesn’t make it destiny. It makes it Miller time.
Joke #13 - Fuckin' Nips (Adult)
Nips, these fuckin nips I tell you…no, not the slur…niiips. Nipples. Pokies. You ladies gotta move on from cleavage. Men have. It’s not impressive or attractive anymore. Who cares? NIPS are where it’s at. I go on Instagram; I only follow chicks who pinch their nips. At least I know they know their place. Who you kidding? Instagrammers are closer to pornographers than scholars; you already crossed the line by uploading your photos. You don’t value privacy. Your followers never measure up. Women know deeeeep down they don’t deserve it, and resent men who coddle them with cringe.
Let’s get something straight, there’s nothing moral or pure about advertising your body online. Full stop. I see a chick with big tits online and there’s no nips, I call it out. I say “Aye…where’s the nips? I’d flip for a nip.” Usually, I get blocked and that’s ok. It reminds these prostitutes…that cleavage don’t cut it no more. Then there’s all these stupid trends. Heh, I wish chick’s-ass had nips. I bet you that could be a trend. If not your real nips, but prosthetics ones. That’ll keep your integrity intact…
I don’t get it, they like the attention, but somehow nips are crossing the line. It’s very simple ladies, you like free attention, pinch your nips. Attention is a slippery slope; you know what else is a slippery slope? Time. You think that attention is going to last forever? LOL. It ain’t. Get a move on ladies. You watch, chicks are going to put prosthetic nips on their ass. Fuckin’ nips. What I’m saying is pinch’em or die alone and childless. Guarantee you ladies, an A cup with pinched nips gets more attention than d cups with no nips. Take it from me, I identify as a “Chad.”
Let’s get something straight, there’s nothing moral or pure about advertising your body online. Full stop. I see a chick with big tits online and there’s no nips, I call it out. I say “Aye…where’s the nips? I’d flip for a nip.” Usually, I get blocked and that’s ok. It reminds these prostitutes…that cleavage don’t cut it no more. Then there’s all these stupid trends. Heh, I wish chick’s-ass had nips. I bet you that could be a trend. If not your real nips, but prosthetics ones. That’ll keep your integrity intact…
I don’t get it, they like the attention, but somehow nips are crossing the line. It’s very simple ladies, you like free attention, pinch your nips. Attention is a slippery slope; you know what else is a slippery slope? Time. You think that attention is going to last forever? LOL. It ain’t. Get a move on ladies. You watch, chicks are going to put prosthetic nips on their ass. Fuckin’ nips. What I’m saying is pinch’em or die alone and childless. Guarantee you ladies, an A cup with pinched nips gets more attention than d cups with no nips. Take it from me, I identify as a “Chad.”
Joke #14 – Cringe (Adult)
I was an athletic kid. I played soccer from the age of five to 14. I think I had a resting heartrate of 30BPM. No joke. So when I went to high school I didn’t know anyone. Sports turned out to be a great way to make friends. Then I started weightlifting because my football coaches encouraged us to get stronger. So we “perform” better. Let’s be honest. The ONLY motivating factor to work out (as a teenage boy) is TO sabotage your doubt with confidence.
It's true. I didn’t care about my health, I wanted to bang chicks, forever. In fact,…DAMN the cost to my health. By grade 11, I wanted to bang chicks so badly I became the strongest student in my high school. We wore uniforms because I went to a Catholic high school: Brother Andre CHS in Markham, Ontario. So on certain days of the year, students could wear what they wanted, within reason. I would wear muscle shirts and chicks noticed me. Woo-hoo! That gave me even more incentive to exercise my ignorance with muscles. Take it from me, being the strongest doesn’t get you laid... thank God I was an idiot. Why? Keep listening. The problem is now I’m 44, and NOTHING has changed. That’s why I don’t work out. I don’t want to bang chicks anymore, so I am not motivated.
Uhhh-that’s a problem because I’m in bad shape. I’m at the age (as a father) where health DOES matter. I took steroids in my twenties because “damn the fuckin’ cost I want pussy.” I wasn’t good at game because I was a simp. NO game, all cringe. I dated my first girlfriend at 21. So now I’m banging “ah” chick. I eventually started to build a game plan, but thankfully I didn’t get very far because in hindsight, sex is dangerous. Why? It’s a buzzkill man… Who needs that shit? Now…I don’t even bathe. I repulse women because I’m not making any more babies. I’m done ladies, back off! I know you want me but this side of beef is closed for business. I haven’t had sex since my son was conceived back in May of 2018. I’ve conquered that retardation that comes with pursuing women.
If you’re a young buck, don’t do steroids, don’t waste your time sulking. Work hard and establish yourself mentally, physically, and financially. I met my wife at 28, and we got married two years later. We have two kids. Sex is for making babies. The end. I feel sorry for guys who are addicted to sex. Why? Chicks are gross.
It's true. I didn’t care about my health, I wanted to bang chicks, forever. In fact,…DAMN the cost to my health. By grade 11, I wanted to bang chicks so badly I became the strongest student in my high school. We wore uniforms because I went to a Catholic high school: Brother Andre CHS in Markham, Ontario. So on certain days of the year, students could wear what they wanted, within reason. I would wear muscle shirts and chicks noticed me. Woo-hoo! That gave me even more incentive to exercise my ignorance with muscles. Take it from me, being the strongest doesn’t get you laid... thank God I was an idiot. Why? Keep listening. The problem is now I’m 44, and NOTHING has changed. That’s why I don’t work out. I don’t want to bang chicks anymore, so I am not motivated.
Uhhh-that’s a problem because I’m in bad shape. I’m at the age (as a father) where health DOES matter. I took steroids in my twenties because “damn the fuckin’ cost I want pussy.” I wasn’t good at game because I was a simp. NO game, all cringe. I dated my first girlfriend at 21. So now I’m banging “ah” chick. I eventually started to build a game plan, but thankfully I didn’t get very far because in hindsight, sex is dangerous. Why? It’s a buzzkill man… Who needs that shit? Now…I don’t even bathe. I repulse women because I’m not making any more babies. I’m done ladies, back off! I know you want me but this side of beef is closed for business. I haven’t had sex since my son was conceived back in May of 2018. I’ve conquered that retardation that comes with pursuing women.
If you’re a young buck, don’t do steroids, don’t waste your time sulking. Work hard and establish yourself mentally, physically, and financially. I met my wife at 28, and we got married two years later. We have two kids. Sex is for making babies. The end. I feel sorry for guys who are addicted to sex. Why? Chicks are gross.
Joke #15 – Virginity is Awesome (13+)
Nothing like another day I can repel the devil with the Lord. I’ll only marry the purist woman. As pure as me. We can kiss our genitals together and make dozens of babies. Boys have no physical way to prove they’re virgins. Not the case for woman. Sucks to be you. It confirms to men they’re raising their own. To mature bachelors, virginity is awesome. I can’t wait until my wife poos my babies out of her destroyed vagina. It’s important to me, my wife has the tiniest vagina possible when she gives birth. Why? Shame on her for losing her virginity. That’s what you get!
Joke #16 – Genitals (13+)
I shamed my kid for putting his hand down his pants. No ‘Dick Handle’ in my house I said. You understand “Touchy?” Don’t be touchy, it’s gross. Are you clean person? No? Why you touching people? Do they appreciate your germs? Then why sabotage yourself? I’m gross because it benefits me. The youth must remain pure of mind, body and soul. How else are parents going to marry them off? Journeys? HA! Journey towards an empty life. Genitals are gross. Stop touching your genitals, shame on you. Wait until you’re married then touch all you want. Why? Husbands love wives’ germs.
Joke #17 – Still Works (Adult)
I’m not a robot, I do get aroused on occasion, but only to acknowledge, “Hey, it still works.” I’m not sure of the day I realize it stopped working. I think relief would replace fear. It’s a callback to youth. Lord knows youth has no warranty. You pay for it when you’re older. And you’re happy to contribute with the relief it ain’t worth workin for. It ain’t. All I want to do is be a funny father. Tell me if that worked.
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