ChatGPT's Interpretation of this form:
This service is a charitable act designed to alleviate anxiety and suicidal thoughts for John Ralph Tuccitto, who is bipolar and seeks connection with others. Your engagement and respectful reading are highly appreciated. The author, with a background in user experience design and authoring books and websites related to bipolarism, aims to promote understanding and support mental health.
John, how does vanity clear your conscience?
Response:
I'm am a non-academic teacher. When someone else reads my work out loud to me, it channels my conscience through their real-time processing of my bipolar logic. I'm transparent with my intrusive thoughts to expose them to light. I wager there's one benefit to my isolation is that my thoughts are deeply exclusive. This increases the likelihood of my thoughts of expanding comprehension into intrusive thoughts. Plus vanity is vane. It's a straight up thrill to listen to my own words being read out loud. Like looking into a mirror and liking what I see. Content is my mirror.
So you're going to tip me $20 CAD for every minute I spend reading your work out loud?
Response:
That's right. I will time you once you begin reading. Once you begin a new minute, I owe you $20 CAD. Why you might ask? Incentive. I'm an author, and the truth is you don't make money publishing books (if you're a nobody). If anything you have to pay people to tolerate your work. Profit isn't my goal, good mental health is. If I didn't spend my money this way I would be wasting it on buying junk off of eBay. Why not pay others to be a unified squad of non-academic psychologists? I'm a non-academic teacher who appreciates how your attention alleviates my anxiety and suicidal thoughts. I may cry tears of relief. You may cry for different reasons.
How long are the texts?
Response:
120 to 250 words.
I'm too shy to read out loud. Can you read it for me?
Response:
Sure thing. I can read the text for you. Just so you're aware I only give $10 per minute if I read it, not $20.
This sounds like a scam.
Response:
I'm just trying to build good reputations with good people. I take mental health very seriously. I am bipolar so I'm desperate to connect with others. How much so? I haven't met a bipolar person in the wild since 2015. In my experience it's easier to mend burnt bridges than make new friends. I hope I can change that because I have not been successful. Cringe is not attractive. That said if you are not convinced I am being genuine you are free to leave. This is a charitable act; the charity of sparing me your concerns. Laugh at me amongst your friends, but be charitable and leave me alone. This is a charitable act sacrificing my privacy to help others think differently.
Wait. That doesn't make sense. Instead, befriend or hire people who naturally think differently. Why? The people who think differently can't be normal. Maintain your normality because the future is not on your side. Break-ups, marriage, kids, job, lust, ambition, illness and death contribute to "different" thinking. Each of the items I've just listed interrupt your sanity with problems that need solutions. Those solutions come in time with diligence. I mean, if you value "different" thinking, I may give you a reason to maintain your normality. I think that's equally valuable. That's your choice. I don't believe in choice. Everything is scripted. There is no such thing as spontaneity or the emotions that ensue. I have severe beliefs that prove God is plausible. I'm not a Christian. I go to Christian church, but I have my own beliefs. I'm not an evangelist, I just clear my conscience in front of people.
Wait. That doesn't make sense. Instead, befriend or hire people who naturally think differently. Why? The people who think differently can't be normal. Maintain your normality because the future is not on your side. Break-ups, marriage, kids, job, lust, ambition, illness and death contribute to "different" thinking. Each of the items I've just listed interrupt your sanity with problems that need solutions. Those solutions come in time with diligence. I mean, if you value "different" thinking, I may give you a reason to maintain your normality. I think that's equally valuable. That's your choice. I don't believe in choice. Everything is scripted. There is no such thing as spontaneity or the emotions that ensue. I have severe beliefs that prove God is plausible. I'm not a Christian. I go to Christian church, but I have my own beliefs. I'm not an evangelist, I just clear my conscience in front of people.
How do I sign up?
Terms and Conditions
Starting Procedure: I, John Ralph Tuccitto must agree to this exercise before anyone else starts reading. You cannot walk up to me and start reading and expect payment. Until I agree, I don't owe.
Rate: The rate for you reading my work out loud is $20 CAD a minute. The rate for me reading my work out loud is $10 CAD a minute.
Minimum Payment: You are guaranteed a minimum payment of 1 minutes worth of reading. Payment varies based on who's reading.
Burden of Performance: I will determine if your performance is acceptable. If I determine you are underperforming for any reason, I may stop the exercise. Whatever you have earned to that point I will owe.
Limited Resources: I'm not made of money. I'm on disability. Should my service become "viral" I will only be able to fulfill a couple of exercises per month.
Offensive Material: Should my work offend you, you may stop at anytime. Whatever you have earned to that point I will owe.
Eligibility: I do not have PayPal. This exercise is for Bipolar Canadian residents only. I can send an email money transfer. If text is read aloud in-person, I can hand you physical bills.
Forfeit Lawsuit: by submitting the form below you (or anyone else) relinquishes all avenues and instruments of the law to sue me (or anyone else). Period. If you are prone to suffer from (severe) emotional triggers, do not proceed. This service is a charitable act. It is not advertised. Respect my truth with harmless amusement, just don't be an fucking asshole.
Screening Process: Once form is submitted I may contact you to determine if you are a good candidate. That process is structured on natural conversation not surveys. I may refuse service at anytime without explanation.
Qualifications: My professional background consists of 11+ years of user experience design in online secure banking. Since my diagnosis in November of 2014, I have contemplated bipolarism through authoring 9 books (self-published 3) with 4 websites. It's through my experiences and research which qualifies me to share what my 8+ year journey revealed about humanity's denial of immutable flaw. If that does not inspire confidence, do not proceed. I'm non-academic.
Rate: The rate for you reading my work out loud is $20 CAD a minute. The rate for me reading my work out loud is $10 CAD a minute.
Minimum Payment: You are guaranteed a minimum payment of 1 minutes worth of reading. Payment varies based on who's reading.
Burden of Performance: I will determine if your performance is acceptable. If I determine you are underperforming for any reason, I may stop the exercise. Whatever you have earned to that point I will owe.
Limited Resources: I'm not made of money. I'm on disability. Should my service become "viral" I will only be able to fulfill a couple of exercises per month.
Offensive Material: Should my work offend you, you may stop at anytime. Whatever you have earned to that point I will owe.
Eligibility: I do not have PayPal. This exercise is for Bipolar Canadian residents only. I can send an email money transfer. If text is read aloud in-person, I can hand you physical bills.
Forfeit Lawsuit: by submitting the form below you (or anyone else) relinquishes all avenues and instruments of the law to sue me (or anyone else). Period. If you are prone to suffer from (severe) emotional triggers, do not proceed. This service is a charitable act. It is not advertised. Respect my truth with harmless amusement, just don't be an fucking asshole.
Screening Process: Once form is submitted I may contact you to determine if you are a good candidate. That process is structured on natural conversation not surveys. I may refuse service at anytime without explanation.
Qualifications: My professional background consists of 11+ years of user experience design in online secure banking. Since my diagnosis in November of 2014, I have contemplated bipolarism through authoring 9 books (self-published 3) with 4 websites. It's through my experiences and research which qualifies me to share what my 8+ year journey revealed about humanity's denial of immutable flaw. If that does not inspire confidence, do not proceed. I'm non-academic.