Data, diligence & patience.

I think I'm a "Megan."  I take the principles of conservation from Veganism, but with the benefits of reality understanding calories.  I eat 100g of ground beef with an undressed mango salad, apple, and multivitamin.  I burn 1lb a day.  I like that I can tune my metabolism with calories.  Calories is energy required to balance.  What balances you is a disorder of temptation.  Calories, politics, Elvis...what's the difference?  A calorie is the disorder of temptation; who wants to kiss a participation trophy?  People who don't know how to see without victomhood sabotaging the hero within.  Be your own hero.  Lose weight to save the day.

So it looks like I'm free-falling again, which is exciting to think third time's a charm.  Fingers crossed I can breaze past 180.  

Forming a new protocol:

6:30 Coffee
8am Coffee & large camomiale tea
         Apple (not coffee) to squash cravings
3pm 100mg of groundbeef with a mango salad.
         Multivitamin
         Water, water water.
9pm Bed

Just trying to eat normally but I'm prepping for another fast.  For this week, I'm going to eat 200g of ground beef with mango salsa.  I want to be full of nutrition and cut the eating before bed.  I'm not giving up.  Unless my doctor tells me otherwise, I'm fasting to 170.  That's my next goal.  Then maintain the weight for a little while.

"​Imbalance is a constant dancing between extremes." John Ralph Tuccitto

180 was like hitting a brick wall.  180 is my 150.  I achieved all I can do.  That's scary to think my best performance lost me the race.  I can adapt by streaking into the LEAD of something I didn’t sign up for.  I'm not signed up to fail, but reality requires I die at some point.  If reality is ambitious, I'll die sooner than I'm ready to let go.  I didn't sign up to fail, and I didn't sign-up to win.  Spectators concede to athletes with their blue-collar time, energy, and money.  I'm no athlete, and sports doesn't impress me.  I'm an umpire.  I'm optimism riding mother nature.  Mother nature gives you what God wants: good grief.  

Eating is "GOOD GRIEF."  Eating is a celebration of one less day on earth.  If good grief is defined by fast lives...you love to celebrate predictable failures with vices.  Indulge in the death I so accept with good grief.  I eat because I didn’t sign-up to fail.  Stop feeling like a loser.  Get up.  Go for a walk, get away from food while you burn calories.  Be grateful when we overcome, and don’t anticipate WITH good grief when we fail again.  The inevitable is a wave that arrives on shore.  Follow God’s tide with good grief, indulge within forgiveness.

Well here I am, back to where I was a few years ago.  Looks like 180 is a hard plateau.  I tried hard to break the plateau by binging up to 187lbs then losing the weight to break through 180.  This is my second day without progress.  I was losing 2lbs a day up until now.  This isn't my first rodeo though.  I'll keep pushing through the 170's because I'm so close to my goal.  Stay tuned.